Waiting in Our Corner

Hebrews 13:5b

"Never will I leave you nor forsake you."

I have this picture:

I'm in the ring, fighting off my sin but I'm letting it whoop me. I'm letting it throw its punches and I feel the brunt of each one. 

God is in my corner. I know He's there. He's so good at inspiring me and encouraging me and caring for me. He's got the key to defeating sin and claiming victory. But I don't go to Him. I just let sin hit me over and over again.

Why?

God's so good to me. He's like my Papa when we go golfing. He doesn't critique my every move. He gently offers advice when I request it, He does so to improve my game. 

So there God sits in the corner, in my corner, ready and willing to help me. The question remains, will I go to Him? Will I accept His help? Or will I let sin claim victory over me?

The choice is mine...

The choice is yours too.

Isn't this picture all of us? Why do we let sin keep winning? God never leaves us nor forsakes us. He waits in our corner, watching us get hit over and over again He doesn't throw down the towel (literally and figuratively), throws his hands in the air and yells, "That's it! I've had it! I'm out!"

He waits just as the prodigal son's father waited patiently. Why do they wait? I think it's because we will never learn the lesson of our trials if we don't reach out fist. If we are "forced" into returning "home", would we actually learn from our mistakes? It has to be on our own accords. We have to come to the place where we are SO desperate for God that we will finally turn from ourselves and our own devices and turn to God and ask Him to help us.

 And you know what will happen when we do that? God's gonna send Jesus to fight for us. Because guess what? He's already defeated sin and death before. 

Our secret to victory isn't in our own strength, our own plans. 

It's in Jesus.

Will you let him fight for you?

He's waiting. 

Quiet Time

"You are my place of quiet retreat; I wait for your Word to renew me."

Psalm 119:114

Recently I've been opening up more about my personal devotions, my daily quiet time. For the last year and a half I've kept it very personal as I've slowly, finally figured out what works for me. Ya'll, it is so important to find the style that works for you. I spent years reading and re reading the Bible. Sure I got some things out of it but I was reading it for the sake of reading it. I wasn't hiding it in my heart, I wasn't letting the words sink into my soul to renew me. I read my five chapters and closed it for tomorrow, marking off books of the Bible like a to-do list.  For years I battled with spending daily time in the Word but then dropping it for weeks at a time because I couldn't get myself back into the groove. On and off again. 

That all changed at the end of November 2016 when I finally began the journey to find what clicked. I remember feeling down about my quiet time. I'd been taught better on all of my mission trips but it just never clicked. Then one day via Pinterest I found a new quiet time style. What it is, is a short passage ranging from one verse to usually under ten verses. It's usually organized by topical studies  from Rest, Comfort, Joy, Love, and so forth. They usually come in lists of 30ish to last you a month. 

So you take your passage for the day and you write it out, that is where the journal comes in (Some had asked about my quiet time journal, I'll explain it more later). 

I have found that when I write out verses, they tend to stick better. I hear the words better and more deeply than when I solely read it. I doubt I'm the only one guilty of reading the Bible as I'm thinking about my weekend to-do list, am I right? 

At first I just wrote the verses and closed my journal. I kept up with my daily Bible reading, it might not always stick but it's still SO important. This went on for a couple weeks and I realized I still wasn't really getting much out of it other than a cramped hand. That's when I slowed down and thought about the words I was writing. Then once I was done writing that, I wrote out what my thoughts were. What was God speaking to me through this passage? How can I apply this to my life right now?

From that day on it's grown and grown and become this beautiful time I spend in the Word.

After awhile I added prayer journaling to the mix and this year I added scripture memorization. 

We should be always growing, always learning. Never stop expanding your times of quiet with your Lord. 

So why journaling? Can't I just do it all in my head? 

Of course! 

But I've been able to look back over the last year and a half at my journals and physically see my progress. To see where I recorded my battles and my victories, my questions and my answers, my prayer requests and my praises. 

I don't do it every day, probably between 4-7 times a week. Some weeks are good and others it is a struggle. I've had to learn to give myself grace. I used to get so worked up over missing a day, maybe it was because I was afraid to go back to the ruts of the past. Those ruts where I neglected my daily devotions for weeks at a time. But I learned to give myself grace and now I don't go more than two days without doing it. I don't worry about my dates matching up perfectly with the days on the passage lists. I do them when I can. 

So what's my format? That's the fun part, for me anyways!

1) Date and what # day I'm on of which study.

2) I write out my weekly memory verse

3) Now I write out the passage for the day

4) Then I write my thoughts, what did I get from it? What is God speaking to me about this passage?

5) I then write out my prayer. Usually it is about what I just learned but I also pray for lots of other things. I think that is it's own blog post right there.

I always add a prayer requests page then on the back I add the answered prayers page. It's cool to see how God has answered my prayers over the last year. 

I like to keep things organized and bright so I use different color pens for each different section in my journal. 

Now.

Here is the fun part. If you have access to a printer or printing at office max, I print out small pics to put in the front cover of my journal. It's a nice way to keep reminding me of the encouraging things for my season that I'm in. It's always different so the pictures change from each journal. The top picture is of my current journal and the bottom one is of my next journal that I should be starting in the next weekish. ( I find most of these from Pinterest). 

It's just so important to find what works for you. I've grown so much spiritually this last year. The verse at the top of this post is so true.  God is my place of quiet retreat, I go there for Him to renew me. And I so desperately need it and crave it. And He so graciously offers it to me. 

~Beka 

"Closed for Spiritual Maintenance"

You may have seen my post Friday night: 

     In the hustle and bustle of one busy week after another, I'm sure I'm not the only once who grows weary. And by weary I mean emotionally spent and spiritually dry. It's not that I haven't been spending time with God and in His word, because I have been, every day. But I do believe the things of this world can have strong influences on our spiritual well being. Yes, God is bigger and more powerful but when we open our hearts to other things and not be solely focused on God and growing closer to Him, we lose our grasp on our relationship with Him. He doesn't hold us with a tight fist and never let us walk away. He wants us to want Him and so He lets us choose and most of the time we don't choose Him. 

     Over the last couple weeks I'd spent more time in worldly entertainment (such as tv shows on Netflix) instead of pouring into God. I told myself that I was tired and needed a break from reality plus the show I was watching was just so funny. But the constant in and out of relationships of the characters left my expectations where they shouldn't be. I lost my contentment and peace. It left me sad and dry. A place that God doesn't want me to be in. He wants me to find my joy in Him and find my purpose and peace in Him, not the flamboyant lifestyles of fictional characters in a TV show. But that's our culture, isn't it? They throw all this garbage in our faces making us think that the only way to be happy is to be throwing yourself at whatever whim you want to on a daily basis.  That couldn't be farther from the truth. 

     God has good plans for us. Better plans than anything we could ever come up with. And it can be hard to hold onto that hope that God will work it all out if we but believe and trust Him. But it is going to be so worth it when we do! There will always be valleys that we will face and we can either let the weight of the world hold us down until we are sinking or we can cling to Christ, the greatest hope of all. He loves us as only the best Father can. He wants to take care of us. But we have to trust Him to do so.

     I wasn't really planning on going into all that. I really wanted to just focus on what I learned about myself in my 48hour phone/social media fast. It was a relaxing weekend (with a couple stressful moments lol). Saturday was a great day. I got everything on my To-Do list done! Which rarely happens because half my day is spent on social media. Just being honest.

     I also realized that I am a very impatient person but I never really realized that until I took away the very thing that gives me access to immediate contact and information. So many times I wanted to take a pic of what I was doing and snap it to a friend. Or text my mom telling her about something I got in the mail. I did relent and turn my phone on so I could take some pictures of my cats.

     It was very refreshing to not feel attached to my phone. I was able to stay 100% fully engaged with my family when I visited them on Sunday or my friend on Saturday night. 

     So how will this change my way of life as I continue forward? Well, I'm keeping my notifications off for Facebook and Instagram. I'm less likely to get sucked into scrolling when there is no reason to open it. I might do these fasts more often as now I don't feel so glued to my phone. 

     Overall, it was a great refreshing weekend. I got things done. I rested. I spent time with God. He refreshed my soul and I'm able to move forward in this new week back where I should be- content and at peace in Him. 

Waiting Well

"I am the good Shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me-"

- John 10:14

I feel like when it comes to the theme and lesson of waiting, I am on a never ending round-about, continually going in a circle : learning, forgetting, remembering, forgetting and so forth.  Maybe it isn't so much forgetting as it is losing sight of the truth of what it really means to wait.

I feel like I am in a constant state of waiting. I'm waiting for funds to come in for my summer mission trip, I'm waiting for my life to keep going forward in new directions, I'm waiting for friends to return to Jesus, I'm waiting for my future husband and the life we will share together, waiting and waiting and waiting...waiting for the waiting to end.

Some days I don't wait very well.

Some days I'm tired of waiting and I sink into despair and self pity. A place that as a child of God I have no place being in. Because in that place my eyes are not on my ever loving Father. My trust is not in Him.

Our Father is the good shepherd. He knows us best - better than we or anyone else knows us. He knows our hurts and our deepest longings. Our cries do not fall on deaf ears. He is listening. But His timing is not our timing and it's hard when you are impatiently waiting.

His timing can be so hard. So very very hard. But we can't give up because it's worth the wait. God is worth the wait. God is worthy of our waiting...of our waiting well.

Waiting well...

What does that look like? It's more than having patience. Patience isn't something you just magically get one day. Patience is a process...a process of waiting well.

Psalm 27:14

Wait on the LORD; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the LORD.

So what does waiting well look like?

Psalm 37:5

Commit your way to the LORD, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass.

My study Bible's footnote says "Commit your way to the LORD- Literally roll your way upon the LORD.

Roll your way upon the LORD? What in the world does that mean?

Mathew Henry's Commentary had this to say about this verse :

"Commit thy way unto the LORD, roll thy way upon the Lord, so the margin reads. Cast thy burden of thy care. We must roll it off ourselves, not afflict and perplex ourselves with thoughts about future events, but refer them to God. By prayer spread thy case and all thy cares before the Lord, and trust in Him. We must do our duty, and then leave the event with God. The promise is very sweet, He shall bring that to pass, whatever it is which thou has committed to Him."

- I think waiting well is not worrying about things. It's placing the stresses of this life and the things that consume our thoughts at the foot of the cross, leaving them with Jesus to handle.

- Waiting well is living in the moment, not in the future. It's pursuing God with what you have already been given instead of waiting for more.

Luke 16:10

Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little  will also be dishonest with much.

- Waiting well is spending time in the Word, in prayer and in worship. It's growing closer to your Father who will reveal those things that you seek in His perfect timing.

You can't expect your life to change if you don't spend time with the one who created your life.

So whatever you are waiting for whether it's a new job, more stable finances, a new direction, a new relationship, etc, continue to pursue the Father.

Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.

Because He truly is a good, good Father, the good shepherd who was willing to lay down His life for the sheep, for us. He is not only worth the wait, but worthy of our waiting.

Honor Him today by waiting well.

Isaiah 40:31

But those who wait on the LORD shall renew their strength; They shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.

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Questions, comments, prayer requests, feel free to reach out to me!

~Beka

A new year brings new adventures!

Hey everyone! So I know I've been teasing with the information about my text trip so without further delay, here it is!

Next summer I have the incredible opportunity to be the nanny for a precious baby, Ezekiel or 'Zeke'. I had the privilege to serve with his parents, Jack and Kelsie, in Scotland 2015.

When they asked me if I would be interested in being their nanny next summer, I could barely hold in my excitement. Throughout my years serving with Reign, I’ve met and interacted with several nannies and I’ve always had the desire to serve in that role. I love foreign missions and I love babies. Being a nanny on a royal servants summer trip is combining two of my greatest passions. After taking time to pray and seek God, I came to the conclusion that this is what He is calling me to next.

    June 5 will begin my summer with about three weeks spent at training camp and the rest of the summer will be spent overseas. As Jack and Kelsie will be serving as staff on a trip, they won’t find out which team they are assigned to until the spring. Royal Servants goes all over the world and we could be assigned to any one of them.

But no matter where we go, my mission remains the same. As the team begins ministry overseas, I’ll watch from behind the scenes. I get to be the hands and feet of Jesus in such a unique way this summer as I watch Zeke. This frees up Jack and Kelsie to lead the team well and effectively on those ministry days without having to worry about Zeke. I’ll be there to help with travel, meals, baths, naps and anything else Zeke throws our way. And let’s not forget all the playing and snuggling Zeke will need this summer as he continues to grow and learn and experience this world for the first time.

Below is a little blurb from Zeke’s parents on my role this summer:

"This will be our first summer traveling with a child. Ezekiel will be 9-11 months old while we are at Training Camp and overseas. As we began to contemplate who might best aid us in caring for our child, Beka immediately came to mind. Her devotion to Christ, her love of young children, and her commitment to discipleship made her an obvious choice for us. We have many responsibilities throughout the summer and will not be able to give Zeke the full attention he deserves but to have someone solid like Beka step in and help love him is crucial to our family and our ministry. My wife, Kelsie, and I had the privilege to serve with Beka in Scotland two summers ago. She was one of our small group leaders and her love for and commitment to her four high school girls was unmatched. We are thrilled she has agreed to serve this summer as our son's nanny. We heartily encourage you to invest in Beka this coming year, both in prayer and financially, that she might be fully funded and spiritually equipped for her ministry to our son."

    Because we don’t know what specific team we’ll be on, the cost of the trip varies. I’ll be needing around $4,000 for this trip. I intend to contribute as much as I can personally earn, however I can’t do it alone. I am seeking financial supporters who will come alongside and enable me to serve God on this trip. Therefore, I am praying for a team of 40 people who will support me with a special gift of $100. I understand that not everyone is able to make that kind of commitment, but any gift amount whether it is $5 or $50 is greatly appreciated. I also need people who will agree to be my prayer partners during the summer. Your prayer is a crucial contribution to this ministry.

Would you prayerfully consider partnering with me by being a prayer and/or financial supporter?  Please, don’t hesitate to send me any questions you may have.

   

   

I am so excited to spend the summer with this adorable little guy!

Thank you!

How to give:

Send A Check By Mail (all checks are electronically deposited) Online At  

Make your check payable to Reign Ministries. Indicate the purpose of your gift. You may write your purpose for the gift in the memo or provide other instructions on a separate sheet.

If you are sponsoring a missionary staff member or student and you know their fund number (Kopenski, Beka (P007656) , please include it. It will ensure proper processing. We will promptly return a receipt for your gift stating how your gift was processed.

Mail your contributions to:

Reign Ministries

5401 West Broadway Avenue

Minneapolis, MN 55428

Online At:   https://reignministries.org/make-a-gift/

1. Choose the box that says Royal Servants
2. When filling out information, scroll down and be sure to find my name, Kopenski, Beka.

Verses to live by!

Joshua 1:3

"I will give you every place where you set your foot, as I promised Moses."

As I was doing my daily scripture writing and devotions, this verse was on a list I found of important verses we should all memorize. So when I first read it, I was mad because it seemed to be taken out of context. I can't just take this verse and plant it in my life and say, "Well there ya go, God will give me success in all I do because Joshua 1:3 says so.."

No.

But as I thought more about it and read the surrounding verses (always important to read the whole story and not just one or two verses) I was shown how applicable this verse is to life. Not just my life and the path I'm on but for us all.

God was leading the Israelites to the promised land. This was at the end of their wanderings. Moses had just died and I'm willing to bet the people felt hopeless and defeated. Their great leader was gone. In this verse, God was speaking to Joshua and reminding Him of the promise He made to Moses. God was going to provide for what and where He was calling them to.

Vs. 7 says "Be strong and courageous...Be careful to obey all the law. Do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go."

What verses to live by!

God is calling us all to something, whether its a job, relationship(romantic or not), a mission trip, a way to live, ministry, etc. Whatever God is calling us to, He will provide. He's promised that. But only if we are faithful in return. I was never going to get all the funding for any one of my mission trips if after I heard the call of God I just sat at home on the couch and watched tv or looked at my phone for months on end and expected that come summer time the money would be there for me to go. No. I had to work for it. I had to prepare and plan. I had to write letter after letter and stuff envelopes and send emails. I had to work for it. I had to be faithful on my end. And in return, God showed up and provided in miraculous ways.

God our Father desires to bless us. But only when we are living for Him day by day. A parent isn't going to reward a child with bad behavior with gifts. No. A parent wants to reward a child for doing good.

We are God's children.

Don't forget that.

P.S. Please subscribe to the blog if you haven't already!

Cry Out

Psalm 72: 12

For he will deliver the needy who cry out, the afflicted who have no one to help."

Tonight I am reminded just how faithful our God is. How deep and how wide and how high His love for me is. It's something I think He is always reminding me of.

  I've been trying a new personal devotion style. I found a monthly scripture writing "challenge" for December. Every day there is a new passage of scripture and I re write it. But that's all I have been doing...until tonight when I decided to add the SOAP study method (Scripture, Observation, Application, Prayer). What a difference it makes when you apply yourself.

Tonight the verse above stuck out to me. He will deliver the needy who cry out. I haven't been crying out to Him lately. I've been keeping things to myself. I've been silent. I've been pitying myself. Tonight He quietly and gently reminded me that He will deliver me if only I'd cry out to Him. He'd save me from drowning if only I'd reach out for Him. How foolish is it to think He'd answer my prayers if I don't pray them?

I cried out. I brought my needs before my God, my healer and my provider. He didn't answer everything in that moment. But something deep in my soul became still. I knew He was here. It brought me to tears to be shown how faithful He is to me.  He brought hope. He brought peace.

We are all needy and afflicted. In this world we live in, there is always something. We are never without need. Thankfully our God never tires of us. He is always there. He waits patiently for us to realize that need and to cry out. He does not fail to deliver.

Spend time with Jesus. He will meet you where you are at. Don't wait until you are clean enough. He'll clean you. Trust Him.

He restores my soul!

It's been a dry couple weeks. My normal schedule was thrown out of whack due to family visiting (which I wouldn't trade for the world. It was a great time!) but it was hard for me to keep up with my daily devotions between spending time with family, my crazy job and several road trips. And so, unfortunately, my daily devotions took a back seat. This left me dry and short tempered and impatient. I woke up today so desperate to get out of the desert. I took what little time I had before church and I sought God.

Ya'll, He is SO faithful to us! If we cry out to Him, if we ask Him for more of Him, He is faithful to give us what we so desperately need.

Matthew 7:11 "If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him!" 

Through worship, prayer and reading the word I began to feel that refreshing of the spirit that I needed. By the time I got to church I was ready for more worship. My heart was in the right place.

I started this day dry and lost and although it hasn't ended, I am now full and joyful. He restored and refreshed my soul.

Make time for the spirit's work in your life. We do not have because we do not ask. ASK! Ask God for His spirit! Ask God to fill you and restore you and cleanse you! Seek Him with an earnest heart. He is a good good Father and He loves you so deeply.

When the peace God gives you isn't the peace you wanted

This has been a humbling lesson to learn. It's funny how you can learn a lesson over and over again, in different ways. Being humble instead of prideful  is a lesson I learn often.

It isn't an easy lesson and at times it may feel like the world is crashing down on you when you are in the midst of learning it, but in the end God will give you peace.

So this is my story of receiving that peace. But it wasn't the peace I was praying for when I made the decision to go back to Macedonia for round two. 

I saw it as a step of faith because I was not 100% fully certain of God's plan for me. I hoped with all my heart that it was to return to Macedonia and so I applied and began fundraising. Through all this, I prayed that God would show me His plans and that He would give me peace about my decision.

But that peace never came.

And as the money just didn't come in and time and deadlines were passing, I began to cave under the pressure. I wanted so badly to go back.

I had to go back.

But God had different plans and through lots of prayer and receiving counsel from family and friends, I made the hard decision to yield. To take a step back and humble myself.

Because as I look back on the whole thing, I was letting my emotions make decisions for me. I didn't wait for God to give the go ahead. I didn't wait for His peace before I set sail. 

It is hard to put your own will and desires aside and do things God's way. I mean, it's hard to do that in all facets of life. But in these circumstances, it felt devastating. And still, sometimes my heart aches when I see the pictures from March. Those beautiful refugees stole my a piece of my heart and I'm pretty sure I'll never get it back. But that's what mission trips do. You lose your heart piece by piece and that's a good thing. 

So what now?

I feel like God is leading me to a time of sabbatical, of rest and recharge. I don't know how long this period will be. But I do know that no matter how long it is, I will not be idle. I'm using this time to grow closer in my walk with the Lord and to seek His long term will for my life. As much as I have loved every short term trip I have been on, I believe I am ready and am getting closer to long term commitment. So we will see where God leads me and when He leads me there. It may be sooner than I think ;)

As always, your continued support and prayers are greatly needed and appreciated. Love you all!

Be sure to follow by email/subscribe!

Beka

When God changes your heart

How do you begin to explain the vastness of a mission trip? If you have ever been on one before, you will understand the change you see in yourself when you return home. 
So much changes too. 
Your eyes are open to a whole new part of the world. 
You see realities and circumstances that most people have never even given a thought to. This goes especially for younger missionaries like myself. Most young adults or teens (more than most I should say) have never stepped foot outside of their state, let alone to another country. 
Opinions change.
But most importantly, your heart changes.

And that's what I want to talk about first. How God changed my heart when I went to Macedonia. 

Let's backtrack,shall we? To before the refugee crisis hit media headlines. Back to when the only idea I had about Muslims and the Islamic faith was that there were terrorists among them. When I thought about a Muslim, I associated that person to terrorists. I know this isn't a rare occurrence. There are quite a few number of humans (not just Americans I'm guessing) that thought the same as me. 
I had never had a conversation with a Muslim outside of ringing up their groceries at my previous job as a cashier. 
I never looked into their eyes and felt love.
I always felt fear and suspicion. 

I learned long ago to never put boundaries on God's plan. I have always tried to keep an open mind when dreaming of where God may send me next. But honestly, deep down in my heart I hoped that the Middle East was not on His agenda. And China was always the number two. But still, I tried keeping an open heart to it all the while hoping inside that my calling would be anywhere but there. You know what I mean?

So, in short, I was very judgmental and hypocritical. 

So when the refugee crisis hit our media outlets and became the crisis that it is today, you can imagine my shock when I no longer felt the same towards them. Maybe it was sympathy that began to soften my heart. Or maybe it was God using sympathy to soften my heart.  But there I was, heart breaking as I watched the drone fly over Syria and all you could see for miles was destruction.  Hearing the horror stories from HONY's travels to the Middle East, of these people who are trying to flee for their very lives because ISIS is killing everyone they know and love. The war is ravaging these countries forcing these families to leave all they have ever known and all they own and run.

Suddenly, these people weren't so scary. They were humans who needed help. They are lost sheep needing the true Good Shepherd. 

But those feelings didn't truly go away until I walked into the camp and looked into the eyes of mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, and children. Until my heart fully broke for these beautiful people. 
When love finally entered my heart for a people who are so in need of love.

That's how God changed me. He took fear and replaced it with so much love.

But not after convicting me of my past opinions and attitudes. 

I know this refugee crisis is the center of a large debate here in America. But for us Christians, there should be no debate. And maybe this will help you understand what I mean.

One of our leaders said this at the beginning of the trip and it has stuck with me to this day and I hope you consider it and pray about it just as much as I have. 

"Have we as Christians thought that perhaps God is bringing the Muslim refugees here because we aren't going there?"

That personally hit home with me. Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, they are all places I have never had a desire to go. And I'm sure many other Christians would agree with me. 

Guys, we are seeing something so amazing during this time. We are seeing a mass exodus of previously unreachable people groups now entering countries where they are FREE to hear the Good saving News of Jesus Christ and God's love for them! 
WOW  can I get an AMEN?!

Think about it for a minute will you? 

Mission trips to the Middle East are basically unheard of. But mission trips to Germany or Macedonia? We can freely enter those countries and freely and openly talk about Jesus to Afghan's and Syrian's.  People who have never heard the truth of the Bible.

What do I think we should do about it?

Pray. Learn. Open our arms. 

Pray for these people. Pray as they travel, as they find and settle into a new home. Pray for provisions. Pray that Jesus will speak to them in dreams and through His people. Pray. Pray. Pray.

Learn about the culture these people are coming from. Learn about the similarities and differences in religions. Learn how to bridge the gap between Christians and Muslims. (I recommend a great video series called___________...I will let you know as soon as I find it..)
So learn how to reach them.

And open your arms, open your heart to these people. They have names and beautiful faces. They are no different than me or you. 

At the top of the slide...

It's the day you have been waiting for all school year long. Summer is finally here and it's your first trip to the water park. The sun is hot and the water cold. Everything about this day and the plans that you and your parents have made is playing out perfectly. There you are, finally at the top of one of the highest water slides. You have been waiting over thirty minutes, climbing the steps one by one as you patiently waited for your turn. And now as you step up and on to the slide, something you didn't expect happens. It's something you always ridiculed other kids about. 

Fear of going down. 

Your heart begins to race and now you would rather run all the way back down the steps. The lazy river was looking calm and perfect from your new high vantage point. 

The lifeguard directing traffic forces you to sit but your hands are still tightly clenched on the rail above you.

You are going down this slide. Whether that's you getting the courage to let go or the lifeguard pushes you forward sending you on a spiraling descent towards certain death...or at least that's how you see it anyway. 

You turn to face the lifeguard as if to say, "never mind, I won't do it."

And instead of cruelly pushing you down, so the next kid can go, they kneel beside you and look you in your eyes, "This ride is wild. But I promise, when you get to the bottom, you will have loved every second of it and will be running back up these stairs, pushing all the kids out of the way just to ride again. You are going to love it, trust me."

And with that, suddenly the courage you lacked momentarily returned and on your own you let go of the rail and slide to the bottom. 

The lifeguard was right! That was invigorating and life changing! 

And there you were, running towards one of the other higher slides. You finally make it to the top, even more impatient than before.  

In an even bigger shock, as you step into the water and grasp the rails, that same fear from before returned. This time worse because you know that you CAN handle the ride. You did it before. So why is it harder to go down again?

The operator on this slide, noticing your original excitement vanished, leans toward you. "Just remember how you felt when you reached the bottom. You can do it!"

Your memory from not an hour ago resurfaced and the courage and stamina that you needed came back and you thrust yourself forward. 

How often in life do we see God moving in our lives or better yet, how often does God call us to something small and we gladly accept the challenge. But soon enough as time passes, He calls us to bigger things? And the bigger and scarier the "ride" He is calling us to, the harder and harder it is to keep thrusting ourselves forward? 

Anyone else ever have that feeling?

I definitely have and I'm definitely going through it again in my life. 

You know, it was definitely intimidating and scary to go on my first mission trip five years ago. I was so excited as I prepared but soon enough the fear began creeping in. It wasn't till I was finally on the trip did I get the excitement back. Just like the kid in my story. I went through the phases of excitement, anticipation, fear, courage and back to excitement. 

And God keeps calling me on this rides. And every time, for a brief moment, fear settles in. Every time I have to remind myself that no matter where the trip is or how long it is, I know once I am there that everything will be alright and I'll be excited as I should be. 

God keeps calling me to bigger and better things yet fear keeps me holding onto comfort with a death grip. It's hard to let go and let God. I know all the answers to my fears and questions. I have this internal battle raging almost constantly. Whenever a question arises in my heart, I immediately counteract the question with truth. 

I've seen what God has done in my life over the last six years. I've seen what He has done on each of my trips. I have watched him provide thousands of dollars for me to experience His plan and purpose for my life. I've seen the joy in my heart and on the children's faces of all those kiddos I have interacted with over the years. And I know deep down, no matter what comforts or fears may try and block the vision of my destiny, that if God calls me to something that it is going to be 10,000 times better than what I could come up with on my own. That there is a purpose to His calling and it will be so worth all the sacrifices that may come with it. 

So if God is calling you on your first or sixth "ride" and you are experiencing that fear that comes knocking, remember what God has done in your life. Remember the experiences you had, the emotions you felt, and the sights you saw. Remember the work of God in your life. Remembering (and leaning on God) will give you the courage you need to follow through with this next ride.

Just remember how you felt when you reached the bottom! You can do it!

God will be with you every step of the way.

Pray with me as I continue to seek God's will for my life and look into different long term mission opportunities. Pray that no matter the place, no matter the time of service, I won't keep holding on to comfort and security but will let go and follow God with full speed, expectant and excited!

And if you need prayer for the ride in your life, or for any other reason, reach out to me! I'd love to pray with/for you during this time in your life.

Beka

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"

I'm not "normal". PHEW!

It's been over a year since I returned from Honduras. Now I can finally get back on track with regular blood donations! Donating blood is something that I have really enjoyed doing over the last five years. I always say that the only negative drawback from traveling over seas for myself is that most likely that not, I'll be hindered from donating blood. Thanks to Nepal, Colombia, and Honduras I had to wait a year after each trip to donate again. So even though I have been donating over the last five-ish years, this is only my 4th or 5th donation. 
It's one of the most simplest ways to give back and to help those in need. 

All that to set the scene.

I quite often forget that my life is not normal. I'm just so used to living my life this way that when I meet other young adults I forget that people like myself are few and far between. 
I met a young man today and we talked as we waited at the Red Cross. I don't remember how we got started on this topic (maybe because I love sharing about my trips so I find ways to sneak it in there in any conversation). I told him about all my travels, where I had been and where I'm going next week! (Yeah, I leave for Macedonia next Friday, the 18th!)
After I listed the countries I had been to and where I am going, you could see the surprise and shock on his face. He smiled and laughed as he told me that he had never been to those places.

That's when it hit me. My life is not normal, by any means that society today would have suggested for an almost 22 year old. 

Never went to college. Never had a boyfriend. Never been kissed. Never had my own prom or high school graduation. Never been on a fancy vacation outside the country.

Even though my life is filled with "Never have I ever's..." the list of the things that I have done outweigh them and make the nevers worth it.

Let me clarify. I understand that most of my "never's" just haven't happened yet but most likely will in the future. And I'm okay with waiting. Waiting is worth it. No regrets ;) 


I want to share with you something I found in my journal for Colombia (my second mission trip).
I had forgotten all about this encounter and can no longer picture his face. I met a Colombian named Antonio who said a blessing over me : "May God bless you and guide you back home and to other countries."
Little did either of us know that almost three years later I'll have gone on my 5th mission trip and have been to three more countries after that trip. It's really cool looking back and seeing things like this prayer come into fruition. 

***If you ever go on a mission trip YOU MUST journal! You will be so thankful you did!***

UPDATE on Macedonia. Like I said I leave on March 18th to fly to Chicago and begin meeting my team. Cannot wait! 
I AM FULLY FUNDED. I should have posted this awhile ago. God is so good and has met all my needs.
I only work a few days next week then I'll have a couple days to pack, repack and prepare. 
A huge thank you to all who donated and have been praying. I so appreciate your support!



The next few weeks are going to be very busy and I appreciate all the prayers. 

How you can pray!

-As the team and I prepare for next week.
-As the leaders prepare
-That the camp administration will accept us and give us the proper badges we will need to enter the camps.
-For all who we will meet while in Macedonia, especially the refugees.
-For open doors in Macedonia.
-Travel to and from Macedonia
-Guidance for myself. That God would open doors and lead me to where He wants me to go/what He wants me to do next.

Thank you!

Beka

Why I do what I do...

I'm sure some of you are wondering, "Why are you involved with foreign missions?"

It's something I have asked myself quite often. 
What is my purpose? 
Why do I do what I have done and what I still want to do? 

Why do I spend so much time, effort, energy and money on short term mission trips to other countries?

The answer is simple yet so deeply complicated.

Simply put? God has called me to these trips. 

I didn't wake up one day and say to myself, "I think I'll go travel to a developing country, spend a summer there away from the comforts of home and away from my family and friends. Yeah, I think I'll go to a country where there are no real or clean toilets. I'll go to a country where I have to hike for hours up large steep hills where my lungs feel like they will explode just so I can meet new people. I'll go somewhere where I can't shower every day or every other day. I'll go to a new culture and perhaps try weird foods or food I don't like and pretend I do like it so I don't disrespect anyone. I'll go spend a month in a place where I don't know the language and if I'm confused I'll just nod and smile and walk away. I'll leave for 6 weeks and lie awake at night, crying myself to sleep from homesickness." 

Yeah...that sounds like a great plan. 

Nepal. Colombia. Honduras. (Scotland doesn't count because I have always wanted to go haha) and now Macedonia and some day Romania. Those aren't necessarily my top picks of places I would have wanted to travel to in this world. Let's face it...Those aren't tourist hot spots. They aren't all that safe. But that never mattered to me. 
All that mattered when I was facing a new trip was the clear and simple fact that God called me, told me to go on a trip. God called me to Nepal, Colombia, Kairos (Honduras and Scotland) and now He is calling me to Macedonia. 

A more complicated answer to this question would be, God called me to this.

I say that it is so simple yet so complicated and here is why.

God called me. Simple enough. So that's what I have to do. 
It's only complicated when I start to wonder why. Why to these specific places? 

I'll be honest. 

I look back on my trips and wonder why I was called there. What was so special about ME going THERE? 
Maybe I touched someones heart. Maybe it was because I had a willing heart to go. I may never get to know the reason but that doesn't stop me from going. It keeps me going. I never know what God has planned and I may never know how many seeds were planted in love. I may never see the seed grow and blossom. At least I wont see it in this life. But I'll definitely see it in heaven. 

I love mission trips. I love seeing new people and new places. I love experiencing a new culture. I love beholding the beautiful earth that God has created.

Now, although they may never have been my top picks for travel destinations, the excitement for the trips never faded. Each trip has been a fantastic adventure that God has blessed me with. I look back on each with such joy and fondness. So many great memories. I have learned so much on each trip. My eyes were opened to the world and its needs. Having now seen these countries, I'd love to return some day and walk the familiar streets. They are all such beautiful countries.

I once listened to a sermon by Paris Reidhead called "Ten Shekels and a Shirt". 

Near the end he was speaking on one of his trips to Africa and this is what he said and I have never forgotten it. 

" I heard God say to my heart that day something like this, "I didn't send you to Africa for the sake of the heathen, I sent you to Africa for My sake. They deserved Hell! But I LOVE THEM!!! AND I ENDURED THE AGONIES OF HELL FOR THEM!!!

I DIDN'T SEND YOU OUT THERE FOR THEM!!! I SENT YOU OUT THERE FOR ME! DO I NOT DESERVE THE REWARD OF MY SUFFERING? DON'T I DESERVE THOSE FOR WHOM I DIED?"

I'll let you chew on that one.

And to those who would ask, "Why not here in America? Americans need help too."

That is so true. ALL people need love. ALL people need Jesus. It doesn't matter who you are, how much money you make, what color skin you have or what language you speak. We are ALL THE SAME. No one is better than the other. No country more superior. WE all need Jesus, it just may look differently in each person, but the bottom line is the same in each and every person on this earth. We are all sinners. 

So why do I do what I do?

 I'm just following the open doors that God has placed in front of me. Whether that is ministry here in the states or ministry abroad. I'll go wherever and however He leads me. And my fingers will be crossed for foreign trips because I am now forever biased towards foreign missions ;) 

If you have any questions or comments, feel free to ask/speak! I'd love to hear from you :) 

~Beka

P.S ALSO if you haven't yet, subscribe and never miss a post!


And I recommend listening/reading to the sermon!

http://www.parisreidheadbibleteachingministries.org/Ten_Shekels_and_A_Shirt.html