When God changes your heart

How do you begin to explain the vastness of a mission trip? If you have ever been on one before, you will understand the change you see in yourself when you return home. 
So much changes too. 
Your eyes are open to a whole new part of the world. 
You see realities and circumstances that most people have never even given a thought to. This goes especially for younger missionaries like myself. Most young adults or teens (more than most I should say) have never stepped foot outside of their state, let alone to another country. 
Opinions change.
But most importantly, your heart changes.

And that's what I want to talk about first. How God changed my heart when I went to Macedonia. 

Let's backtrack,shall we? To before the refugee crisis hit media headlines. Back to when the only idea I had about Muslims and the Islamic faith was that there were terrorists among them. When I thought about a Muslim, I associated that person to terrorists. I know this isn't a rare occurrence. There are quite a few number of humans (not just Americans I'm guessing) that thought the same as me. 
I had never had a conversation with a Muslim outside of ringing up their groceries at my previous job as a cashier. 
I never looked into their eyes and felt love.
I always felt fear and suspicion. 

I learned long ago to never put boundaries on God's plan. I have always tried to keep an open mind when dreaming of where God may send me next. But honestly, deep down in my heart I hoped that the Middle East was not on His agenda. And China was always the number two. But still, I tried keeping an open heart to it all the while hoping inside that my calling would be anywhere but there. You know what I mean?

So, in short, I was very judgmental and hypocritical. 

So when the refugee crisis hit our media outlets and became the crisis that it is today, you can imagine my shock when I no longer felt the same towards them. Maybe it was sympathy that began to soften my heart. Or maybe it was God using sympathy to soften my heart.  But there I was, heart breaking as I watched the drone fly over Syria and all you could see for miles was destruction.  Hearing the horror stories from HONY's travels to the Middle East, of these people who are trying to flee for their very lives because ISIS is killing everyone they know and love. The war is ravaging these countries forcing these families to leave all they have ever known and all they own and run.

Suddenly, these people weren't so scary. They were humans who needed help. They are lost sheep needing the true Good Shepherd. 

But those feelings didn't truly go away until I walked into the camp and looked into the eyes of mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, and children. Until my heart fully broke for these beautiful people. 
When love finally entered my heart for a people who are so in need of love.

That's how God changed me. He took fear and replaced it with so much love.

But not after convicting me of my past opinions and attitudes. 

I know this refugee crisis is the center of a large debate here in America. But for us Christians, there should be no debate. And maybe this will help you understand what I mean.

One of our leaders said this at the beginning of the trip and it has stuck with me to this day and I hope you consider it and pray about it just as much as I have. 

"Have we as Christians thought that perhaps God is bringing the Muslim refugees here because we aren't going there?"

That personally hit home with me. Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, they are all places I have never had a desire to go. And I'm sure many other Christians would agree with me. 

Guys, we are seeing something so amazing during this time. We are seeing a mass exodus of previously unreachable people groups now entering countries where they are FREE to hear the Good saving News of Jesus Christ and God's love for them! 
WOW  can I get an AMEN?!

Think about it for a minute will you? 

Mission trips to the Middle East are basically unheard of. But mission trips to Germany or Macedonia? We can freely enter those countries and freely and openly talk about Jesus to Afghan's and Syrian's.  People who have never heard the truth of the Bible.

What do I think we should do about it?

Pray. Learn. Open our arms. 

Pray for these people. Pray as they travel, as they find and settle into a new home. Pray for provisions. Pray that Jesus will speak to them in dreams and through His people. Pray. Pray. Pray.

Learn about the culture these people are coming from. Learn about the similarities and differences in religions. Learn how to bridge the gap between Christians and Muslims. (I recommend a great video series called___________...I will let you know as soon as I find it..)
So learn how to reach them.

And open your arms, open your heart to these people. They have names and beautiful faces. They are no different than me or you. 

There is always someone having a worse day than you...

"Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it." 

A friend recently posted that on Facebook.
 And it couldn't be more applicable to my life right now. It's Thursday night as I write this. On Monday my Nana was taken to the hospital, transferred to another hospital 45 minutes away, and had surgery on her spleen to stop bleeding from a fall from over a week ago. Since surgery, she has been in ICU. 
It's been a strange few days. There is really no way to explain just how warped the last few days have felt. Emotions have been a roller coaster. One minute I was on the verge of tears and a mental break down and the next I'm laughing hysterically because Papa called the wrong person, walked into the wrong room, or just said something funny. 
Time for the last few days ceased to exist. We were there for so long yet it went by so fast. I felt like a lifetime had passed since Monday when this all began. I guess it didn't help that from the time I woke up Monday morning, I didn't sleep until Tuesday night.
Time was spent listening to my emotions bicker back and forth between being impatient and wanting Nana to just be able to come home but also wanting her to heal fully and knowing it will take time. 

And though I have to come back to the real world and resume my work schedule and fitting in time to run down to Erie, PA to the hospital before/after shifts, I look back on the last few days extremely thankful. Let me explain why:

• During surgery, the Doctors found an aneurysm outside the spleen. They were able to repair that along with what had been injured. If she hadn't fell when she did and had surgery, she very well may have died from the aneurysm. Although it wasn't the best way to find out about it, we are thankful that she's on the mend from it all. 
• I only had to call off of work for one shift during the last three days. Over a month ago I was asked to babysit on Feb. 11th. Well, that fell through but I never changed the availability for that day. I was scheduled off on Wednesday and Thursday. Such a blessing to not have to miss work for a few days and spend them at the hospital with Nana.
• Wonderful neighbors who shoveled our sidewalk/steps/porch today after we were hit with a nasty storm while we were not home. 
• A random stranger repaying a random act of kindness with a random act of kindness. While in the drive thru this morning for much needed coffee and donuts, Papa let a lady into the car line. It was a madhouse in the drive thru. I "argued" with papa about who would pay. He had paid for several meals for my aunt and I and I wanted to repay a little back. I think I could cover his less than $2 coffee haha. But the lady settled it for us by paying for our order. It was a great start to the day.
• Smart me brought several cross stitch projects (2 of which are birthday presents. One is late and i was able to finish it and the other I thought would be late but now is done). I was able to be productive during the down time at the hospital. Nana's pain meds pretty much conked her out most of the time. 
• WE were blessed with great nurses so far. Such patient, wonderful men and women. (No one put up a fuss when I brought coffee into the room.)
• Coffee. Magical sweet, God-given nectar. I probably consumed an unnatural amount of it over the course of 3 days. 

But the main reason I am so thankful? 

I overheard a mans conversation while he was on the phone. As I listened, I learned that his son was in an accident and injured his spine or vertebrae. The father was scheduled to have a hip replacement done on Monday and would need to have to reschedule since his wife wouldn't be there to help him with it. They both needed to be here with their son.

My heart broke for this man and his family. Already were they facing surgery and a hospital stay and now their son was critically injured. 

As I walked back to our room I realized how easy we had it. Nana was in good health, although tired and slept most of the day. She was up and moving around. She could talk to us. 

So much of our time, especially the two days my aunt was with us, we laughed so much. Well, Papa, Aunt Nae and I laughed so much. Levity lessens the stress. I guess I almost felt guilty every time we laughed hysterically. It's still serious that Nana is in the ICU but as I look around at the other patients in nearby rooms, we really had it made. 

So just remember to look for the good in the bad. It makes the bad not so bad :) 

I'd love to keep typing but with all the cross stitching I have done and now typing, my fingers hurt. I probably have early onset arthritis. Or i'm mellow dramatic. Either case, it's late and I'm still exhausted.

Talk to you all soon!