When God changes your heart

How do you begin to explain the vastness of a mission trip? If you have ever been on one before, you will understand the change you see in yourself when you return home. 
So much changes too. 
Your eyes are open to a whole new part of the world. 
You see realities and circumstances that most people have never even given a thought to. This goes especially for younger missionaries like myself. Most young adults or teens (more than most I should say) have never stepped foot outside of their state, let alone to another country. 
Opinions change.
But most importantly, your heart changes.

And that's what I want to talk about first. How God changed my heart when I went to Macedonia. 

Let's backtrack,shall we? To before the refugee crisis hit media headlines. Back to when the only idea I had about Muslims and the Islamic faith was that there were terrorists among them. When I thought about a Muslim, I associated that person to terrorists. I know this isn't a rare occurrence. There are quite a few number of humans (not just Americans I'm guessing) that thought the same as me. 
I had never had a conversation with a Muslim outside of ringing up their groceries at my previous job as a cashier. 
I never looked into their eyes and felt love.
I always felt fear and suspicion. 

I learned long ago to never put boundaries on God's plan. I have always tried to keep an open mind when dreaming of where God may send me next. But honestly, deep down in my heart I hoped that the Middle East was not on His agenda. And China was always the number two. But still, I tried keeping an open heart to it all the while hoping inside that my calling would be anywhere but there. You know what I mean?

So, in short, I was very judgmental and hypocritical. 

So when the refugee crisis hit our media outlets and became the crisis that it is today, you can imagine my shock when I no longer felt the same towards them. Maybe it was sympathy that began to soften my heart. Or maybe it was God using sympathy to soften my heart.  But there I was, heart breaking as I watched the drone fly over Syria and all you could see for miles was destruction.  Hearing the horror stories from HONY's travels to the Middle East, of these people who are trying to flee for their very lives because ISIS is killing everyone they know and love. The war is ravaging these countries forcing these families to leave all they have ever known and all they own and run.

Suddenly, these people weren't so scary. They were humans who needed help. They are lost sheep needing the true Good Shepherd. 

But those feelings didn't truly go away until I walked into the camp and looked into the eyes of mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, and children. Until my heart fully broke for these beautiful people. 
When love finally entered my heart for a people who are so in need of love.

That's how God changed me. He took fear and replaced it with so much love.

But not after convicting me of my past opinions and attitudes. 

I know this refugee crisis is the center of a large debate here in America. But for us Christians, there should be no debate. And maybe this will help you understand what I mean.

One of our leaders said this at the beginning of the trip and it has stuck with me to this day and I hope you consider it and pray about it just as much as I have. 

"Have we as Christians thought that perhaps God is bringing the Muslim refugees here because we aren't going there?"

That personally hit home with me. Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, they are all places I have never had a desire to go. And I'm sure many other Christians would agree with me. 

Guys, we are seeing something so amazing during this time. We are seeing a mass exodus of previously unreachable people groups now entering countries where they are FREE to hear the Good saving News of Jesus Christ and God's love for them! 
WOW  can I get an AMEN?!

Think about it for a minute will you? 

Mission trips to the Middle East are basically unheard of. But mission trips to Germany or Macedonia? We can freely enter those countries and freely and openly talk about Jesus to Afghan's and Syrian's.  People who have never heard the truth of the Bible.

What do I think we should do about it?

Pray. Learn. Open our arms. 

Pray for these people. Pray as they travel, as they find and settle into a new home. Pray for provisions. Pray that Jesus will speak to them in dreams and through His people. Pray. Pray. Pray.

Learn about the culture these people are coming from. Learn about the similarities and differences in religions. Learn how to bridge the gap between Christians and Muslims. (I recommend a great video series called___________...I will let you know as soon as I find it..)
So learn how to reach them.

And open your arms, open your heart to these people. They have names and beautiful faces. They are no different than me or you. 

Macedonia! Part Two!

This March I'll be traveling with Reign Ministries, partnering with SEND International to work with the Syrian Refugees in Skopje, Macedonia. (March 19-27) 
We will be engaged in refugee relief work that includes food and water distribution, providing supplies to young mothers and their children, and sharing the gospel through SD cards they can put into their phone and carry with them as they make their way north. 

I am so excited for this opportunity to work with refugees and alongside other missionaries. God has placed the Syrian refugee crisis on my heart and I cannot wait to stop talking and start doing something to make a difference. 

Now...here is the fun story. Today is Saturday. On Wednesday I got my acceptance email. And just a couple hours later I got a new email. This email was about our flights. Prices jumped and our travel agent found us a new flight to Macedonia and back. It was substantially cheaper but there was a catch. We would need at least $578 in our accounts to cover the airfare.  That gave me just about two days to raise a large portion of my funds. And then on top of that, my name wasn't online so I couldn't receive online gifts until Thursday, giving me only a day to raise the funds.

I'll be honest. I cried. For a brief moment, I doubted myself. Did I hear God correctly? Am I really supposed to go? How am I going to get almost $600 in a day? I spent that night in worship and prayer and pouring my heart out to God. All of Thursday as I posted online and sent messages and made phone calls, I prayed.
It was a humbling couple days. Realizing that there was nothing I could do and it was ALL in God's hands. I trusted Him and knew that if this is what He was calling me to do, He would provide. And all day I held my anxious heart at bay. 
I knew of a couple gifts that people planned to give but the running total I knew I still needed was around $300. I went to bed that night not knowing if there would be the remaining $300 in my account in the morning.

I had a dream that night that I had raised $1,000. I woke up feeling peaceful and knowing God will provide. 

Hours went by. I kept busy by a visit to the Vet with my kitten Zeke and babysitting at church.It was during that hour of babysitting that I got the message. 

The total I had gotten as of Friday morning was $875!!! I was ecstatic! I was OVER the amount due that morning. I WAS GOING TO MACEDONIA IN MARCH!

But you think that's it? It got better!

By the end of the day, I received over $1,000 towards my trip! How good is our God? How Faithful!!!
Plus, lets not forget that my dream came true ;)

Let me break down the costs of the trip.

• $900 for the trip.
• $578 for international airfare
• $___ for domestic airfare
• $___ travel insurance (May actually be a part of the $900)
• $___ spending money/supplies

All I have left to fund raise is less than $500 for the trip and money to cover domestic airfare (flights Buffalo to Chicago and then NYC to Buffalo). 
I should be able to cover my spending money and supplies. 
I'll be doing fundraising through churches in the area and continuing to take online donations to finish.
The rest of my funds are due March 11th. And I'll need to get the money to book my flights sooner rather than later.

The last couple days have been a wild ride. One that I have enjoyed and learned from. Like I said all through fund raising for Kairos.

MY GOD IS A MOUNTAIN MOVER!!

No time limit is too short for Him. No amount too large. 

His resources are infinite and he is the creator of time. 

March is going to be so amazing!

Macedonia! Part One

I have a lot to tell you about in regards to what is next in my life. This is just part one. 

It all started last January (2015). It was during a week where our teaching was on Destiny by Wick Nease. Wick is an amazing teacher and missionary. He works with orphanages around the world and his story is incredible. As he taught my Kairos class on how to figure out our destiny, he would randomly show us a picture and tell us the story of an orphan he has met. Each day he showed us one or two more orphans and each time I looked into their eyes, my heart ached. It was only half way through the week when I finally let my heart feel what it was feeling and I walked into Erika's (director of Kairos) office and began to sob. God was working in my heart and I couldn't quite explain what was happening. Erika of course knew what was going on and with a loving smile told me, "I knew this week was going to impact you." Glad someone knew what was going on ;)

Later that day at the end of the youth service at the church I was interning at, God began pulling at my heart through the songs we sang. One song in particular spoke out to me. 

"You make me brave. 

You call me out beyond the shore into the waves.

You make me brave.

No fear can hinder now the promises you made."

I knew in my heart that night that God was  calling me to something. I had that feeling even before Kairos started that something big was coming after Kairos ended. And that night God was reawakening that feeling of expectancy. And in all honesty, it terrified me. Because what I was beginning to get more answers on scared me. God was calling me to a place where I may be traveling alone. All my travel and mission trips were always with a large group of people and I could trustingly follow my trip leaders through the scary airports and strange streets of a foreign land. And now God was calling me to something that would most likely mean going alone. Now, I know I'm not "alone". God is always with me. But when I mean alone, I mean with no one to follow.
And that is very scary to me. I don't like airports.

That night I said yes to God. I was scared but God would make me brave. He would provide what I needed to accomplish what He was calling me to do. 

I continued the year of Kairos all the while holding in my heart the desire to work with orphans and continue in missions. But God is faithful and continued to remind me of this new passion.

I saw the movie twice last year. It's called 'The Drop Box' and it is about a pastor in South Korea. He created a safe box in the wall of his house that mothers could safely leave their infants that they no longer wanted. Hundreds of babies die each year on the streets of Seoul. Most are abandoned and die before they are found. This movie touched my soul. I cried both times I watched it. It kept saying something inside me, reminding me that this is what I want to do.


I did research to try and find organizations that worked primarily with orphans and abandoned babies. 

And then I found one. Anchor of Hope-Romania. They work with orphans, young mothers and abandoned and sick babies in hospitals. This is literally my dream come true mission work.

I stayed in contact with AOH throughout the remainder of my time in Kairos and for a couple months afterwards. Their responses to my emails were scattered and took sometimes over a month to get an answer to my question. I hold no hard feelings, I understand things are crazy doing what they do. A couple months ago I was ready to begin my fund raising and I started to share with those around me my plans. But I was still waiting on some important answers. Weeks went by and no word came from AOH. 

During this time of waiting, I was becoming confused and frustrated. I thought this was what God was calling me to do. I so desperately wanted to go to Romania and love on those cute kids and hold those unwanted babies that I would want to take home in a heart beat.

I kept praying, asking God to show me what His plan was because this was taking so long. I was trying to be patient and trust in his timing. I've learned as of late that patience comes and goes with me.
One Sunday before church started I got a text. I get these texts every day and they always include a different verse. That Sunday the verse was:

Proverbs 3:5

 "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."

 I thought how great a verse it was and went on my way to church.
That day at church a lady who I hadn't had the chance to meet yet came up to me and introduced herself. Her name is Faith. We chatted for a second and just as she was leaving, she stopped and faced me again. She told me that this was a good verse and proceeded to say Proverbs 3:5. It took everything in me not to burst out in tears. My heart was pounding a loud YES. 

I went home that day and seriously took that verse and thought it through and prayed it through. I was giving everything up to God and putting it into His hands and His timing. I prayed that prayer with all my heart. Just a few days later I was scrolling through facebook and that's when I first saw Reign's trip to Macedonia. My heart leaped instantly. I quickly read the information on the trip and was drawn in. Then I found out that my trip leader from Scotland was leading this trip. Even better because Matt is awesome!

That weekend I went on a young adult retreat. There was lots of worship and time of reflection and teachings. It was a great weekend. I focused on God's direction in my life. This trip to Macedonia would be so amazing. But what about Romania? 

Well, all weekend this phrase kept being said. "Wait, there is something better." And I kept thinking, maybe that's what God is telling me. To wait on Romania because Macedonia is coming first. 

Now, I say all this because my original "plan" was go to Romania in March! And now Macedonia was happening...in March. And I  felt God speaking through our speaker, "Wait...there is something better."

To Be Continued...



Here is a link to the Drop Box Film. Check it out. And if you are able to somehow watch it. It's an amazing film.


http://dropbox.focusonthefamily.ca/


***
I do still plan on going to Romania and working with AOH. They finally did email me back the other day. There is someone new taking over emails and responding. So when I do pick that back up, it shouldn't take months to get an answer! Haha...