When God changes your heart

How do you begin to explain the vastness of a mission trip? If you have ever been on one before, you will understand the change you see in yourself when you return home. 
So much changes too. 
Your eyes are open to a whole new part of the world. 
You see realities and circumstances that most people have never even given a thought to. This goes especially for younger missionaries like myself. Most young adults or teens (more than most I should say) have never stepped foot outside of their state, let alone to another country. 
Opinions change.
But most importantly, your heart changes.

And that's what I want to talk about first. How God changed my heart when I went to Macedonia. 

Let's backtrack,shall we? To before the refugee crisis hit media headlines. Back to when the only idea I had about Muslims and the Islamic faith was that there were terrorists among them. When I thought about a Muslim, I associated that person to terrorists. I know this isn't a rare occurrence. There are quite a few number of humans (not just Americans I'm guessing) that thought the same as me. 
I had never had a conversation with a Muslim outside of ringing up their groceries at my previous job as a cashier. 
I never looked into their eyes and felt love.
I always felt fear and suspicion. 

I learned long ago to never put boundaries on God's plan. I have always tried to keep an open mind when dreaming of where God may send me next. But honestly, deep down in my heart I hoped that the Middle East was not on His agenda. And China was always the number two. But still, I tried keeping an open heart to it all the while hoping inside that my calling would be anywhere but there. You know what I mean?

So, in short, I was very judgmental and hypocritical. 

So when the refugee crisis hit our media outlets and became the crisis that it is today, you can imagine my shock when I no longer felt the same towards them. Maybe it was sympathy that began to soften my heart. Or maybe it was God using sympathy to soften my heart.  But there I was, heart breaking as I watched the drone fly over Syria and all you could see for miles was destruction.  Hearing the horror stories from HONY's travels to the Middle East, of these people who are trying to flee for their very lives because ISIS is killing everyone they know and love. The war is ravaging these countries forcing these families to leave all they have ever known and all they own and run.

Suddenly, these people weren't so scary. They were humans who needed help. They are lost sheep needing the true Good Shepherd. 

But those feelings didn't truly go away until I walked into the camp and looked into the eyes of mothers, fathers, brothers, sisters, and children. Until my heart fully broke for these beautiful people. 
When love finally entered my heart for a people who are so in need of love.

That's how God changed me. He took fear and replaced it with so much love.

But not after convicting me of my past opinions and attitudes. 

I know this refugee crisis is the center of a large debate here in America. But for us Christians, there should be no debate. And maybe this will help you understand what I mean.

One of our leaders said this at the beginning of the trip and it has stuck with me to this day and I hope you consider it and pray about it just as much as I have. 

"Have we as Christians thought that perhaps God is bringing the Muslim refugees here because we aren't going there?"

That personally hit home with me. Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, they are all places I have never had a desire to go. And I'm sure many other Christians would agree with me. 

Guys, we are seeing something so amazing during this time. We are seeing a mass exodus of previously unreachable people groups now entering countries where they are FREE to hear the Good saving News of Jesus Christ and God's love for them! 
WOW  can I get an AMEN?!

Think about it for a minute will you? 

Mission trips to the Middle East are basically unheard of. But mission trips to Germany or Macedonia? We can freely enter those countries and freely and openly talk about Jesus to Afghan's and Syrian's.  People who have never heard the truth of the Bible.

What do I think we should do about it?

Pray. Learn. Open our arms. 

Pray for these people. Pray as they travel, as they find and settle into a new home. Pray for provisions. Pray that Jesus will speak to them in dreams and through His people. Pray. Pray. Pray.

Learn about the culture these people are coming from. Learn about the similarities and differences in religions. Learn how to bridge the gap between Christians and Muslims. (I recommend a great video series called___________...I will let you know as soon as I find it..)
So learn how to reach them.

And open your arms, open your heart to these people. They have names and beautiful faces. They are no different than me or you. 

At the top of the slide...

It's the day you have been waiting for all school year long. Summer is finally here and it's your first trip to the water park. The sun is hot and the water cold. Everything about this day and the plans that you and your parents have made is playing out perfectly. There you are, finally at the top of one of the highest water slides. You have been waiting over thirty minutes, climbing the steps one by one as you patiently waited for your turn. And now as you step up and on to the slide, something you didn't expect happens. It's something you always ridiculed other kids about. 

Fear of going down. 

Your heart begins to race and now you would rather run all the way back down the steps. The lazy river was looking calm and perfect from your new high vantage point. 

The lifeguard directing traffic forces you to sit but your hands are still tightly clenched on the rail above you.

You are going down this slide. Whether that's you getting the courage to let go or the lifeguard pushes you forward sending you on a spiraling descent towards certain death...or at least that's how you see it anyway. 

You turn to face the lifeguard as if to say, "never mind, I won't do it."

And instead of cruelly pushing you down, so the next kid can go, they kneel beside you and look you in your eyes, "This ride is wild. But I promise, when you get to the bottom, you will have loved every second of it and will be running back up these stairs, pushing all the kids out of the way just to ride again. You are going to love it, trust me."

And with that, suddenly the courage you lacked momentarily returned and on your own you let go of the rail and slide to the bottom. 

The lifeguard was right! That was invigorating and life changing! 

And there you were, running towards one of the other higher slides. You finally make it to the top, even more impatient than before.  

In an even bigger shock, as you step into the water and grasp the rails, that same fear from before returned. This time worse because you know that you CAN handle the ride. You did it before. So why is it harder to go down again?

The operator on this slide, noticing your original excitement vanished, leans toward you. "Just remember how you felt when you reached the bottom. You can do it!"

Your memory from not an hour ago resurfaced and the courage and stamina that you needed came back and you thrust yourself forward. 

How often in life do we see God moving in our lives or better yet, how often does God call us to something small and we gladly accept the challenge. But soon enough as time passes, He calls us to bigger things? And the bigger and scarier the "ride" He is calling us to, the harder and harder it is to keep thrusting ourselves forward? 

Anyone else ever have that feeling?

I definitely have and I'm definitely going through it again in my life. 

You know, it was definitely intimidating and scary to go on my first mission trip five years ago. I was so excited as I prepared but soon enough the fear began creeping in. It wasn't till I was finally on the trip did I get the excitement back. Just like the kid in my story. I went through the phases of excitement, anticipation, fear, courage and back to excitement. 

And God keeps calling me on this rides. And every time, for a brief moment, fear settles in. Every time I have to remind myself that no matter where the trip is or how long it is, I know once I am there that everything will be alright and I'll be excited as I should be. 

God keeps calling me to bigger and better things yet fear keeps me holding onto comfort with a death grip. It's hard to let go and let God. I know all the answers to my fears and questions. I have this internal battle raging almost constantly. Whenever a question arises in my heart, I immediately counteract the question with truth. 

I've seen what God has done in my life over the last six years. I've seen what He has done on each of my trips. I have watched him provide thousands of dollars for me to experience His plan and purpose for my life. I've seen the joy in my heart and on the children's faces of all those kiddos I have interacted with over the years. And I know deep down, no matter what comforts or fears may try and block the vision of my destiny, that if God calls me to something that it is going to be 10,000 times better than what I could come up with on my own. That there is a purpose to His calling and it will be so worth all the sacrifices that may come with it. 

So if God is calling you on your first or sixth "ride" and you are experiencing that fear that comes knocking, remember what God has done in your life. Remember the experiences you had, the emotions you felt, and the sights you saw. Remember the work of God in your life. Remembering (and leaning on God) will give you the courage you need to follow through with this next ride.

Just remember how you felt when you reached the bottom! You can do it!

God will be with you every step of the way.

Pray with me as I continue to seek God's will for my life and look into different long term mission opportunities. Pray that no matter the place, no matter the time of service, I won't keep holding on to comfort and security but will let go and follow God with full speed, expectant and excited!

And if you need prayer for the ride in your life, or for any other reason, reach out to me! I'd love to pray with/for you during this time in your life.

Beka

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